My Grandma

This is a imaginary story, my mothi-aai was really beautiful.

I loved holding her hand, and sometimes moved her back side of the palm against my cheek.The wrinkles, made me tickle. Although I had just stepped into the kindergarten, I understood that those rough hands were result of all the work she did, day-in day-out. She would clean my running nose and whenever I raised my hands signalling I was tired of walking, she obliged and picked me up on her shoulders. At night, she used to wait with the meal plate in her hand, while I used to run around and feed me with her hands when she caught me. Tired of all that running, I would lay in her lap and sleep before she finished her stories, and surprisingly wake up in the bed nicely tucked in a blanket.

All my friends in school laughed at her, some even got scared. She was old, she had her teeth sticking out of her lips, she was dark, her one eye had turned milky white because of the cataract and she was never dressed as neat as my mom or others. They said she was ugly, but for me, my Grandma was the most beautiful woman, I would wait for her to arrive after my school and tell her all that happened in school. I would talk non-stop and even irritate her with questions like "would you do that?". But I never saw her angry, she would smile and answer. I was everything for her.

Then I grew up, I started feeling she was indeed ugly. Now I didn't want to touch her hand, it felt so unclean. When she would try to hold my hand, I would be angry and ask her to let go. I requested mother not to allow her to drop me at school as my friends made fun of me, because she was ugly. I started avoiding her, sometimes by not answering her questions. I didn't want her around me. One fine day, mom said Grandma left for village for good. I was happy.

20 Yrs later, one day when i was driving my car, I get a phone call. Its my mom, telling me that Grandma had expired. Not that I had ever missed her in all these 20 yrs, but the news kind of shook me. For a brief second I felt the same wrinkled palm on my cheek. Only this time, that triggered tears and a thought "would God ever forgive me for whatever I did to her?"

Dive Experience

My heart is pounding, I see my fins through the mask, they look blurry. I put my regulator in the mouth, and breathe. As I get closer to the edge of the boat, my heart is pounding so hard that I feel its going to burst any moment. I breathe shallower and faster. All the noise on the boat, including instructions from Dive Master, start to fade away. All I can hear is my heart beat. I take a giant stride and bllllllluuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppppppppppp ( I couldn't believe that I actually jumped in ocean).

For a fraction of second, there is pin drop silence and I just see the bubbles and wonder if i am ever going to surface. Good Lord, I do. "Are you OK?" the first thing I hear after I surface, I signal with my hand take the regulator out of my mouth, relax and laugh in jubilation. The first step is done.

After a series of instructions, we all decide to go down. I put my regulator back in the mouth, and take the air out of BCD. I start to sink, the only time I have been happy about sinking. As we go down my ear starts to hurt, this is very typical and is called a squeeze in SCUBA jargon. So I "equalize" and my ears are okay. I look up and the sight of bubbles reaching the ocean surface just made me smile. We go about 15 feet and reach at a point where there is lot of kelp. If you were ever left agape by a picture , where the sun rays are piercing a bunch of thick trees, just use some of your imagination, fill that picture with blue water, add a couple of orange fishes ( Garibaldi ) around those trees and imagine you are watching this picture floating in air. Thats what I got to see. Underwater, the bulky costume, the heavy weights, your air tank, all these don't bother you. You are like an astronaut, without gravity, literally.

We do some hand signals with buddies and instructor to let everyone know, that everybody is fine. And start to swim our way, we see a lot of blacksmiths, bat-rays, lot of snails. I even saw a crab skeleton. After a few minutes, the fishes feel that you are part of system, so they don't try to run away from you ( as long as you don't disturb them). So now, you have fishes swimming with you, wondering what sort of creature you are.

This kind of repeated in the next dive as well. On the third dive, I thought its getting little boring. So the moment arrives, the most beautiful thing I ever saw till date. The salp, I didn't have a camera under water (bummer huh), but the picture is a representation of what i saw, only that the formation was like leaves on a tree branch. I just kept staring at it, for minutes.

Princess and the Vagabond

Hold your hand for life that seems so wondrous
this thought of yours, so delusional and immature.
my life is full of uncertainties and so treacherous
I got nothing to offer you but a pitch dark future.

You live in grandeur with royals, intelligent and mild,
With everyone you share a love bond.
I live in barren trees, with animals dangerous and wild
I have no one, because i am a uncouth vagabond.

The palace is so high, that you look down to see fog
the dust of town dare not touch your heels
I share my dinner plate with my unkempt dog
wearing a footwear, i don't even know how that feels.

For you, my journey might seem an adventurous feat
infested with problems you will forget romance
when the thorns in my path would puncture your feet
you would be, infuriated with my nonchalance

This infatuation will die, bright future you will see
Dont fool yourself, thinking, it is I whom you need
She cried a little and turned her back to me
I stopped my tears and let my heart bleed

Utsav Sharma: A small candle light turning into huge fire?

Curious to know what happened to the Aarushi case. I opened up news websites, the case is very intriguing and so far lack of evidence doesn't allow any body to be indicted. As I read through the report, like CBI even I felt that her parents might have killed her. And the updated picture of her parents, Nupur Talwar and Rajesh Talwar was shown at the top. I saw that Rajesh Talwar had dressing on his both hands and a band-aid strip on his forehead. I was wondering what might have gone wrong.

At the end of the report it said, "Rajesh Talwar was attacked by Utsav Sharma outside Ghaziabad court". I told myself "wait a second... Utsav sharma... I have heard this name before". And all the news web pages i read in the past 6 months were flashing in my brain.

Utsav Sharma was the same individual who had attacked SSP Rathore, the accused on Ruchika Girhotra molestation case. Again outside court, where time and again justice was denied in both cases.

I am thinking, what a spirited soul that is. He is a man on mission, I don't know why news websites don't talk about him. 60% of the news website dedicated for karan johar b'day party photos, bollywood gossips but not much information about Utsav Sharma.

Utsav Sharma is reflection of the anger that resides in all young citizens of India. Taking law into hand is not the solution everytime. But as Guru Teg Bahadur says... "when all means of getting justice are denied, lifting of sword is just"