Feeling Special!

I can't remember when I had this kind of feeling... probably never.... its different. On cloud 9, no, that sounds unreal. This is real, difficult to believe but its real. Its better than a feeling of winning a hard fought prize in a tough competition. This feeling is not comparable to accomplishment, satisfaction or victory. Its just making me smile, all day, at everyone, sometimes even scaring because I wouldn't remember if I crossed an intersection despite the red signal. Its making me forgive people, if I had anything against them. I am not even bothered with what is going to happen with the most-important-critical-crucial India Pakistan semi final.

Princess and the Vagabond ... contd.....

The princess speaks...

You are right, I had my self beguiled
I should've known, me ain't a destiny's child
but turn of events is ever so worse
never realized, my prosperity is my curse

I will not stop myself, I will cry
moist,my eyes may seem, soon they will run dry
no words to describe my hearts excruciating pain
nothing can ever hurt me so much, that is what I gain

you looked into my eyes, when you held open that lions jaw
your smile allayed my worry and I was just in complete awe
Uncouth you may be to people,I just saw you as man with valor
When you smiled at me and you did my life a favor

Few seconds of eye contact, that seemed to last a lifetime
right there and then, I lived my life, everything so perfect and sublime
You smiled and laughed with other women, I acted impervious
in truth, I thought of beating them to pulp, I was so jealous

Life stops for none, and it will not for me
crumbled, my dream lies, of together we
Happy, I know, I will never be in life again
But I Promise, I will pretend like having no pain.

Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Day.........

"Sit down for a minute guys" he said as we were just about to finish a meeting and get back to work. "What is it?" some of us questioned in a humorous way thinking he would be talking about his retirement. "It is about doctor.." this sentence from him, changed all of our faces into grave."It seems I have a cancer.. and this might be my last day in office... i am going for a surgery next week" as he said this, his eyes turned red and moist. This is way too much for a person like me to handle, here is a person, who lived a terrific adventurous life, who invented stuff that feeds atleast a 100 families and brought smiles to more than 10,000 individuals, who helped every individual that came to him, why does he have to go through this? it wasn't about the cancer, it was about the way he expressed. His eyes were moist, may be not because he had cancer, but because he had to stop what he loved to do, work, innovate and be amongst individuals he treated like family.

There was a pin drop silence and all of us were looking at each other with grave clue-less faces. We didn't know what to say, we've never seen him sit and do nothing, always working, always innovating. He was rated 9.98 on a scale of 10 by his students in university when surveyed about the best teacher they had. When you tell him, "at some point we should do this", his answer would be "lets do it now!". Yes, thats how we know him, "Do it Now". It was funny, how, one fine day, he walked into office, and said "I am thinking of building a baseball pitching machine", a Doctor thinking about a baseball pitching machine, did you think he was kidding, coz we thought so, but he wasn't, he actually started looking for people who sell the parts used in making one. I had all these flashes.

"Its sad" one of his dearest colleague said, "I know, but it is what it is" he answered.

He sighed and dropped another bomb "Okay, lets get back to work". He worked just as before for the rest of the day. But because of his 5 min talk, none of us could concentrate on work for all day, whenever we had time we talked about him, strange how some people leave impact on you.

just one of those days

Just one of those days..when you get up in the morning and your intuition says
.."this day is gonna be bad "...and here I am...writing a blog on my frustration on a tiny mobile screen..in a extremely frustrated state ...I mean come on...writing a blog on mobile...I have seen better days....any events turned out exactly as my intuition said in the morning... and day ends with sachin getting out cheap..laptop crashing...videos turning out bad....and sleeping with a hungry stomach..hope this internet connection stays put till I publish this blog....

So..given a chance to restart this day would I have done anything different ...the answer from the deepest part of heart is No.. I have chosen what I will go through... and I dont mind that ... only if I could teach a lesson to my intuition perhaps????? ...

Chain of Jealousy

I see myself running on this path of life as a 5 yr old, wild and free, caring a little about world and emotions, definitely very little about the destination. No Chains Attached.

As I grow up on that path, still running, I slow down, not knowing why? There are others running with me too now, I am stronger, I am mightier , yet slow. When I allow my conscious, to move out of my body and act as a mirror, so i know whats holding me, I am surprised to see those chains tied to me.

Chains on my hands, chain tied to my hair, chains on my legs, these chains had a text attached to them, fear, money, lust, attachment, anger, jealousy.

I want to be free, so I apply every ounce of energy I have, to break these chains, I feel my muscles tear apart, but I don't give up. I break free from those chains with shattering sound, giving me extreme sense of gratification.

But the chain of Jealousy is still holding on to my leg, the harder I try the stronger it gets. The thoughts,why am I not that entrepreneur on the cover of popular magazine, why am I not the person she writes about, why I don't drive the expensive car that my friend does, these act as steroids to the chain of Jealousy, the more of these thoughts the stronger the chain gets. While everybody is moving forward, I am stuck there trying to break free from the chain. A situation of panic arises as I think I will be left behind.

Then I hear a thought from my sub-conscious mind, "there is more to life than adding pace to it". I calm down, I look at the chain, its thinner than before. Then I look closely, it has a button "look within", I press that button and I break free.