Today is one of those days, when I use words or do things that are so uncharacteristic of me. Result, I had moments of remorse. But when I ponder over a bit, I realize, being proud, or rather being pompous, is one of those last bad things I want to do in my life. Let me put it this way, if I had a list of things, I DID NOT want to do in life, starting with least bad and ending with most bad. Taking drugs would come before being pompous in that list.
So why does this happen? its that one compulsive moment. Just that one compulsive moment, when you are dis-honest to yourself. Sometimes this is driven by situation, a situation that decides its compulsion. But sometimes its not so much situation driven, it just happens, like Sachin Tendulkar will walk for "most" of the times when he has nicked a ball, but there have been those compulsive moments when he has not walked. All of us might have had these compulsive moments, in a gamut of forms, from getting angry to being coward, from wanting to lie to ogling, from being dis-respectful to elders to questioning the existence of God.
But yes, this compulsive moment is what differentiates, the great from the ordinary, and the ordinary from bad. Its very important to develop a "Character" that does not create this compulsive moment. I have promised myself to work towards this "Character" that doesn't have compulsive moments of being pompous, because frankly, one cannot be pompous on achievements that are based on sacrifices made by others. I pray to God, to give me enough strength and resources to develop this character free of being pompous.
If there is anything I want to be pompous about, it would be sharing love with my loved ones.
